my body is so weak, fragile and broken that I did not have the strength to go through the door
Hell of a Maze – My Plan Not My Purpose (part 5)
My Plan Not My Purpose (4)…2 min. read
Just as I was about to settle into my new freedom another thorn stabbed me deeply. I awoke abruptly from my spell.
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My Plan Not My Purpose (2)…2 min. read
My plan, not my purpose had me embarrassed and angry at the position I had placed myself in.
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My Plan Not My Purpose
The apartment is gravely positioned down a stretch of road littered with trash on both sides. On any given night it would not be safe to walk alone. Weeds overgrown with a wilderness that mimics the very people that lived there. The apartment buildings exhibit an exhausted appearance of a woman once pretty but now worn and ugly from the men that have run through and in her.
The stairwell that leads to an upstairs apartment is dark, damp, and dingy.
My plan not my purpose led me up the stairs to one of the darkest seasons of my life. At no specific time, the smell of burnt plastic would fill the air. I soon learned this was the smell of crack cocaine.
My plan to be independent led me to sleep on an old mattress laid on the scuffed wooden floor of an apartment void of life. No furniture…
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Holes in My Shoes
In the shadow of the lonely nights we often wonder about the missing pieces of our lives. We take many steps in the shoes that we wear. Some by choice. Some by force. We walk in these shoes carrying all the weight of the world. The weight so heavy that holes appear in those shoes.... Continue Reading →
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Living Purposeless
I remember when I thought your way was the best way. Dreams hidden deep inside. Lost to the reason of my existence. Instead metamorphosing into a stranger. A stranger living inside me. A stranger marrying a stranger. A stranger raising strange kids. Doing strange things thinking it was the way. A stranger losing purpose... Continue Reading →
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Mist of the Rubble
Standing up in the mist of the rubble has proven difficult for most. Many of us have taken up refuge in the middle of the rough edges and broken pieces of friendships, marriages, communities, dreams, and success. We have been trapped in what seems like the bottom of a building collapsed by the instability of... Continue Reading →
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Living in the Wrong Paradise (part 3)
Today July 8th, I craved peace but peace did not come. My truth was filled with visions, feelings, and hopes that were as dark as the night on a back country road in the deepest woods of Georgia. This darkness that reminded me of the late night nightmares that haunted my spirit and soul could... Continue Reading →
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Our Daughters
She is a beautiful vivid flower that requires blooming. She stands out in the box of closed minds. She withers in the presence of weeds that smother her roots and stunts her growth. The soil that is to nurture her is filled with foreign unfamiliar objects that her young roots do not understand. But she... Continue Reading →
