Hell of a Maze – My Plan Not My Purpose (part 5)

My reflection was that of someone I didn’t know. My frame was starting to show a frailness. To show a brokenness. The long walks to clear my head was showing by the thinning of my body and the continued tanning of my skin. The sun loved me. I hated it. Hair partially unkempt with my head most days wrapped in an old scarf.

…I couldn’t see or feel anything within or about myself.

As I walked, I wondered if there was anyone I could trust to show me the way out of this “maze” of a life? I cursed to myself “How in the hell did I end up in here?”

This maze of a life had walls filled with weeds that stood taller and bigger than my 5-foot 5-inch frame. Walls that looked inescapable. There were traps set up that were intended to surprise me, to hurt me, or to even kill me. I was weak in mind and fragile in the body, so my presence and my decisions were making it easy for me to become victimized in this maze. Unfortunately, at this time of my life, my brokenness was my weakness.

Along this hell of a maze, there was an unexpected door. A beautiful door. But was this another trap to lead me further into destruction? A thick bouquet of flowers of distinct colors covered the door from top to bottom. A bright light shining from its corners. A refreshing breeze comes from the corners of this door and cools me from the hot sun. I am sensing power. However, my body is so weak, fragile and broken that I did not have the strength to go through the door, so I laid down among the weeds for another day in this hell of a maze.

My plan, not my purpose was leading me to nowhere.

To be continued…

©2017 All words & images by Tanya Graham unless otherwise noted.



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